Sex Position Advice
| 19 July 2010
Most people expect that the intensity of their sex lives will fade after they marry. Some guys even resign themselves to never having good sex again after deciding to spend the rest of their lives with one woman. But this doesn’t have to be the case; marriage doesn’t necessarily mean the death of hot sex, but it will take some effort from both of you to keep it steamy as the years go by.
Here are some tips for having better sex as a married couple.
Use sex to get past ruts in your marriage
There will be times in your marriage when careers, family, kids, friends, hobbies and other important tasks will pack your schedule and get in the way of maintaining a good relationship. There will be periods when the two of you are not communicating well and don’t seem to be connecting with each other. When you experience these ruts in your relationship, don’t let sex go by the wayside. Use the time you have together wisely by getting frisky. If your marriage is experiencing a dip, it’ll fall even further if the two of you don’t connect sexually. Instead of abandoning your bedroom activities at the first sign of trouble, use sex to get back on track.Stop looking at her as your wife
Yes, she is the love of your life -- the woman you chose to spend your days with until you both grow old. She is the mother of your children (if you have them) and a domestic goddess that runs your household and your family while still succeeding in a career and myriad other duties.In order to make married sex better, try to stop thinking of her as your adorable and adoring wife when the two of you get frisky. Allow your imagination to run wild; think of her as a dirty sexpot and encourage her to play the part. Tap into the intense attraction you have for each other and forget that you’re husband and wife.
Make your room a no-kid zone
Having a better sex life with your wife requires that you both take a step away from your everyday lives and focus on each other. If you are parents, this means that you’re going to have to designate some space in your house for adult-only activities. To this end, consider making your bedroom a no-go area for your children. The kids usually have the run of the house, but if they know that mom and dad’s room is off-limits, you’ll be more likely to have time and space to yourselves on a regular basis. Your bedroom will become a haven where it’s all about the two of you.Don’t wear pajamas
It’s a well-known fact that many people -- men and women alike -- feel it’s OK to let themselves go once the wedding vows are exchanged. Unfortunately, this is a one-way street to problems with your sex life. If you no longer bother to put in the effort to make yourself attractive to your spouse, she could lose interest in being intimate with you. Keep the sex hot by maintaining your looks. This means no flannel pajamas in bed. Slip under the sheets wearing what she thinks you look sexy in, whether it’s the T-shirt she loves to cuddle up to, just your boxers or nothing at all. Don’t come to bed covered up from head to toe. Hopefully this will encourage her to put some imagination into her sleepwear as well.the best thing about married sex
The major benefit of having sex in a long-term relationship is that you should be able to trust your partner and not be afraid to share all aspects of your sexuality with her. Get your fantasies out in the open, push your boundaries and create the right environment in order to keep exploring sex with the woman you plan to grow old with.| 02 June 2010
I have found that a lot of people believe that its always the woman who has no sex drive. But that is a myth. Women also call to complain that their husband or male partner has no interest in sex. Women who have a husband with low libido, like men with wives who have no drive, also state that they feel rejected, unloved, and unattractive. In part because of the myth that men always want sex, they sometimes feel even more desperate than their male counterparts. They experience intense sadness and become frustrated. And, like men, women who are dissatisfied with their sex lives may stray outside their marriage to get their needs met..jpg)
So what does it mean when a man loses interest in being intimate with his wife? When it comes to sex, even if youre not talking about it, youre communicating something. When a man withholds sex from his partner, more often than not, hes expressing displeasure with some aspect of the relationship. What displeases a man is differs from situation from situation. He may feel unappreciated, hurt, or angry. He may lack confidence or feel bad about his body. A man might feel confused about his feelings for his partner. He may be afraid to talk to her about how he really feels, hiding his unhappiness. Or he may simply be under stress, worried, or depressed.
But getting a man to open up and talk about his unhappiness directly can be difficult. Quite often, he himself has no idea why hes upset. All he knows is that he doesnt much feel like having sex, and there the story ends, leaving his partner frustrated. Thats when a therapist can be helpful.
It can be difficult to convince a man to come into therapy, if a woman thinks this might be helpful. He may call it hocus pocus, accuse the therapist of just wanting to make money off of us, or feel too embarrassed to talk about his problems. If you can meet with someone that either specializes in sex therapy or working with male clients, you have a better chance that the male partner will be put at ease.
Even though this is a difficult situation, it can be important that a woman supports her partner. His lack of interest in sex may be tough for him, too. Instead of making threats or saying things meant to be hurtful, work on the problem together.
I do frequently advise that physical problems be ruled out. Unless youre trained in medicine, you really cant tell just by looking or studying someones behavior what might be going on in someones body. Low testosterone and other medical problems can interfere with desire. So can use of substances like alcohol, marijuana, and even nicotine. Ideally, you may be able to find a urologist with a special interest in sexual medicine, but if that isnt possible, having a frank discussion with a general practitioner (GP) can be helpful.
